Holding space is one of the core elements of everything I do and teach. As an energy healer, this may be the single most effective and important tool in supporting someone to heal.
In this blog, you will find:
- What holding space is
- What’s happening energetically when we hold space
- 5 tips to get better at holding space.
Definition:
To hold space = To be there with someone.
Fully there. Present. In your own body, in your own space. In your own feelings. In your own grounding. In your own boundaries.
AND
Lending your presence to the other. Lending your ears. Lending your eyes. Lending your feels. Present. WITH them.
In no way against them. In no way judging. In no way changing them.
Just. Being. With.
No matter how lost, scared, angry or self-hating they are.
Just there. With them.
Holding space is incredibly powerful and simple. Not necessarily easy.
Actually, it can get quite difficult. Our egos want to jump in and “save”, “fix” or “change”. They want to be the hero and say something “brilliant” and give advice. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that. Advice and perspectives can come in very handy.
The more profound truth is, however, that our bodies, minds & souls know exactly what they need to heal themselves.
In fact, all they need is a little space, time and permission to access that wisdom. Space, time & permission is what we offer when we holding space. When those ingredients are there magic can happen, the truth can be revealed, love can be remembered and healing can happen.
On the energy level, what’s happening?
Here’s how I see it:
You have your space around you right? Your energy bubble? This is your personal space. It’s where you can process.
When it’s small and contracted, it’s hard to process any information there because there’s not enough space! Things feel overwhelming and painful. They can feel dramatic and big and impossible.
When someone holds space for you, they lend their space to you a little. They sit with your stuff WITH YOU. That way, you can process from a bigger place. The energy in your space has more room to maneuver, to heal, to rearrange in wholeness.
Is that clear to you?
Can you picture that happening as you hold space for someone?
Now that you have a bigger picture of what holding space is, what you’re really offering, here are
My top 5 tips to hold space:
1. Stay grounded.
Feel your bum on the chair, feel your feet on the floor. STAY PRESENT. Actually, the more you are anchored in your experience, the more the other person can become anchored in theirs.
2. Minimize your reactions to what the person’s saying.
The more you embark in their story, the more you become a participant and a creator in it. Because people often want to feel connected and loved, they will often change their story based on your reactions. As a result, you might amplify the story that’s causing suffering.
On the other hand, the more impassive you stay, the more the person can dive deeper into their OWN experience, rather than trying to gain approval from you.
3. Be KIND and patient.
The person’s trying to figure stuff out. It might not make any sense just now. Stay patient with that. And kind… that’s the ultimate healer.
4. Release the need for some kind of “outcome”.
Holding space isn’t about going somewhere specific. It’s just being where we are. In this moment.
5. See the person as fully able to help themselves.
Because they are. They don’t need you or anyone else. The answers are inside them. They just need the right space & time to figure it out.
Tell me in the comments –
what have you struggled with in the past when it comes to holding space? Does it come naturally to you? What was surprising to you?
and what will you INTEGRATE in your life from here on out? ;).
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