1.3 – When to call yourself home

Here is a non-exhaustive list of experiences that can become new triggers for returning your attention to yourself – gently and with genuine, caring curiosity.

I’m including some phrases you can use to tell yourself in these moments to cut through the disconnection that might be there. These aren’t magic phrases. The words don’t matter. It’s the energy of care, curiosity, kindness & even playfulness that does the heavy lifting.

1. When you’re ruminating
   “Hmm. I wonder what’s underneath this for me. How am I feeling this in my body?”
2. When you can’t tell if something you’re feeling is yours or someone else’s
   “Whether it is or isn’t, could I let it go?”
3. When you’re going numb and life feels like a flat “same old same old”
   “Is there something I’m stopping myself from feeling?”
4. When you’re irritable and picking fights with loved ones
   “Oufff this is rough. What do I really need right now?”
5. When you’re engaging in addictive behaviors (even the socially acceptable ones)
   • scrolling social media without a goal
   • infinite online shopping
   • watching TV without enjoyment
   • coffee, cigarettes, chocolate, candy, sugar, carbs, …
   • alcohol, weed, & other drugs
   “What might I have to feel if I didn’t?”
6. When you realize you haven’t eaten or drank water all day
   “Oh. Let me slow down a moment and take care of that.”
7. When you start getting resentful (it’s a sign basic needs aren’t met)
   “I recognize the signal of resentment. Yay me! I wonder what basic need isn’t met right now”
8. When you’re procrastinating
   “Interesting how compelling it is not to do this right now. What am I resisting most?”
9. When you don’t want to get out of bed
   “Hmm. What if I named the 3 main feelings here right now?”
10. When you’ve just held space for someone and you’re jealous of how well you took care of them.
    “Hmm. I wonder what part of me needs some TLC right now?”