Toolbox – Shoulder Technique

How to Quickly & Effectively Release Emotions

The basic recipe:

Rub shoulder while saying:

“Even though ____(say & feel whatever’s bugging you)_____, I accept myself, I love myself, I forgive myself and I forgive everyone involved”.


  • If it feels difficult to say (and mean) any of the kindness statements:
    • try “I am willing to accept myself, I am willing to love myself, I am willing to forgive myself, I am willing to forgive everyone involved”.
    • if that feels difficult try: “I might someday be willing to …”
  • If it feels difficult to put words to what you’re feeling, it’s okay to just feel them and say “Even though I’m feeling these things”
  • If it feels difficult to feel what’s bugging you, try taking a break and get grounded and in your body. Then bring your attention to the feeling again and work with that.
  • If you’re working on a thought or a belief, it still works, but find out how that thought or belief feels like to you. Name that and work with that.

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