Feeling Crazy, Neurotic and Craving Stability & Balance?
Balance, Imbalance, and what you need to know.
Have you ever seen this scene on TV? Someone’s hooked up to an IV, oxygen on their nose and mouth and you just hear this constant “beep, beep, beep, beep” and then… all of a sudden… the dreaded: “ Beeeeeeeeeeeeep”
NOOOOOOOOOO!! A frenzy of doctors appears, but there’s nothing to be done.
The person has passed.
Why am I telling you this?
A life of balance has ups and downs.
Just like that cardiogram signal. Up, down, up, down, up, down… Balance isn’t ONE thing in the middle. Staying in the middle, staying the same all the time… That’s death. (dramatic, I know)
We can’t cling to this one thing we think is the “right way of being”. That’s where imbalance stems from. Imbalance comes when we fall so deeply in love with one facet of ourselves, one state, one emotion, that we try to squash down all the rest.
We’re all guilty of it. Me too. That’s why I’m writing this today – because I caught myself red handed! Yes, yes, I was forced to acknowledge the many facets that want/need to move through me … even if some parts are harder (read: more exasperating!) to live with than others.
The way I see it, our natural state is one of balance
I kind of like to see it like we have a village inside of us. When the village’s needs are met, all the villagers live harmoniously. The different personalities nourish each other and complement each other.
Together, the village is able to meet the challenges it faces. Sometimes it needs the scholar within to pitch in, sometimes it needs the warrior, and other times it needs the mother. The village lives in balance, in harmony. It flows with life and lives peacefully and happily. Not all its components are happy all the time, per se, but that’s OK. Each component is listened to, respected and loved.
The “evil imbalance” (not really evil, also perfectly natural)
Imbalance is when one part of the village (let’s say the worrier) takes control and all the power. The village loses the wisdom from all the other parts and simply faces everything with incessant worry! Oh no! You can see how that’s not going to be very useful when a pack of rogue unicorns attacks! (Right… That makes no sense. )
Or what if it’s the warrior that’s taking up all the room? Or the cook? Or the painter?
We can’t be one of these things ALL the time. Just like in society we need each other, in our inner lives we need all our inner pieces too. We need to be able to call upon the different parts of ourselves as the situation demands. We need to balance.
Naturally, this works itself out. We don’t actually have to consciously do anything. When the cook has taken too much time, the glutton naturally takes over. Perfectly natural!
It all works. It’s all good. It balances itself out. We wonderfully, sensually, creatively dirty dishes? Then our neurotic part takes over – the one who likes to clean! It works. We don’t even have to like all the different parts, they just need to do their jobs.
Why do we stay imbalanced?
Often we have an idea of how we “should” be. Or an idea of “I have to”, of “Others expect me to”… or more frequently yet: “This part of me is BAD” “It’s bad to want chocolate” “I’m bad for being mad!” “I hate this sleepy part of me!”
Recognize any of these? When we fight one of our villagers too long, the village doesn’t function as well anymore… that villager can’t perform its function.
We glorify one part of ourselves, trying to make it stay for longer than it is needed. Or we demonize a part of ourselves, trying to make it go away forever and never rear its ugly head again.
Sometimes this imbalance means we get sick, sometimes we just feel sort of neurotic or crazy. And other times, this imbalance makes us uniquely us. Perfectly imperfect. Quirky and lovely.
Let me help you identify where the imbalance is being created and then help you relax around it and use that villager again. And no, in case you’re wondering, I’m not blaming you for rejecting that villager or glorifying that other villager. Imbalance is perfectly natural too. It’s how we are who we are. Gloriously. Wonderfully. Humanly.
If you’re stuck right now, go here.