Money is (or at least can be) a triggering subject. When I first learned that you could work on your money mindset, I was both intrigued and repulsed.
The repulsion won for a long time:
I was young. And curious. And spiritually inclined. (I still am!) And: money didn’t matter!
I just wanted to learn, and experience life and the world! That I was slowly accumulating debt didn’t matter to me. I was stuffing my bank statements in drawers, unopened, with no comprehension of my spending whatsoever. I would pay my bills sort of just hoping things would balance out in the end.
Whenever I needed money for something big, I felt like a beggar/child, asking my parents’ permission.
Or really MAD that I had to pay this thing I hadn’t expected.
In short: I was passive aggressive in my relationship with money. Not fun.
The repulsion had really taken over. Money was getting me stressed out, really in my head, really angry and sad and tight all at once. I felt horrible about my money decisions and when asked about it, I would snap.
There was a moment where it came to a head:
I was in bed in one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been in my life (Greece, overlooking Delphi). It was absolutely breathtaking there… AND all I could do was to seethe with pissed off disempowerment around money. I was totally in my head, calculating all the expenses… not at all enjoying the company, couldn’t sleep…When I got up, I couldn’t enjoy the (BREATHTAKING) view. It was horrible.
It was an amazing trip, but it could have been a 100 times better had I felt better about money.
I hardly think I realized it then, but that was a turning point. I had poisoned one of my favorite activities – travel with people I love – with money worrying. This had to change.
I felt like money was the boss (not the other way around), like it was something dirty.
I had the notion that every time I spent it I LOST something, rather than gained the thing I was paying for.
I felt like I wasn’t making the decisions. I felt like I had no right to it. I didn’t value myself or my desires.
Later, when I started my business, it was clear: My mindset (and whole relationship to money) had to change.
(You don’t have a choice when you start a business! Your earning, and ability to make a lasting difference in people’s lives depends on your relationship with money.)
Good thing I knew it was something it was possible to turn around.
Good thing I found some money mentors (References below).
Good thing I’m good at paying attention.
Here’s a (partial) fruit of my labor.
11 mindset shifts around money I made in the last 18 months or so.
I hope they are helpful to you as well.
1. Money is a means, not an end.
This seems so obvious, but it wasn’t to me.
As an end, money isn’t interesting. Numbers in a bank account? Who cares!
As a means for delicious suppers with friends, discoveries of foreign countries, a dream home, a romantic getaway, the support you need to get to your next level, creative expression, healing, organic produce, …very interesting!
2. Having more money doesn’t make you evil.
I have so many versions of this. “Lots of money means you have no time”. “It means you are a bad parent”. “It means you’re callous and mean”. “It means… ”
Wow. How wrong was I. Having more money simply amplifies the result of your spending power in the world.
Don’t underestimate the power of your beliefs to keep you from making money. Something strong in you doesn’t want money, you won’t get the money. It’s simple. We’ll address how to start working with them in the 14-day money bootcamp.
3. You get to vote with your money. “Be the change”.
The business you spend on gets your money. They get to spend it on what they need to continue their operations. They get to keep on doing the thing that they do. They get to keep making the product or service you bought so more people can enjoy it. How cool is that?
You get to change the world with where you put your money. Seriously. This empowered me big time.
Value local? Spend local.
Value organic? Spend organic.
Value experiences? Spend on experiences.
Value healing? Spend on healing.
Value learning? Spend on learning.
Not only do you get what you value, you also encourage the business who are trying to bring more of what they do into the world, allowing more people to also get what you value.
4. Having a limited supply of money forces you to make choices. That’s a good thing.
There’s something so wonderful about not having unlimited spending power.
Having a limited supply of money allows you to discern what you actually, truly value.
Here’s a trick that changes everything: Instead of saying “I can’t afford it”, say “I choose not to”. See if you still make the same choices!
It forces you to distinguish between “need” and “want” and “want because of conditioning to want” and “want because it’ll actually really make me happy”. This is very good.
5. No matter how little money you have, you’re still rich.
Staying alive doesn’t cost very much.
All the rest, really, is bonus. The more grateful you are for what you already have, the richer you are.
Being rich is an emotional thing, not a money thing.
Basically: Relax, you’re already there.
Think of all the things and people in your life that money can’t even buy.
6. Debt means someone invested in you.
I felt SO bad about my debt. I made it mean I was a burden on society or, in my bad times, that it meant I was “worth less than nothing”. Literally.
To be honest, these disempowering beliefs gave me a sort of frantic energy that made me want to prove these beliefs wrong (i.e. “You’ll see! I’m not a burden! I’m not worth less than nothing!”), but my biology wasn’t so happy about it, because I would freeze. I couldn’t even look at the numbers. These beliefs made me feel so bad about myself that I would freeze so bad I couldn’t move forward anymore.
When I learned to see it as someone (even if it’s a bank) having faith that I would pay them back eventually, I felt much more empowered. Now, I wanted to prove my belief RIGHT and I was able to approach it in a much more open, relaxed and effective way.
7. Your feelings about money have very little to do with the actual money situation and everything to do with your money mindset (your conditioning, wiring, beliefs and feelings around money).
(Duh! I’m basically saying your feelings around money have to do with your feelings around money…! Obvious, but not. Stay with me)
This means you can change your feelings around money.
You can heal the money beliefs your family has passed on for generations (and not pass them on to the next one!).
You can help your biology relax 100 times a day by healing how you feel about money. (Hello, health!)
You can go from triggered to empowered and enjoy the money you have a whole lot more.
Will doing all this get you more money? Maybe! Probably ;).
These “choose these beliefs instead” money mindset shifts are really helpful:
8. Money loves clarity.
i.e. Be clear on what you want. This gives the Universe direction and will flow the money there.
9. The Universe abhors a vacuum.
i.e. Declutter the S&*t out of your life: your emotions, your thoughts, your beliefs, your home, find the pennies in the couch, the unused gift certificates (and USE them)… And the universe will fill all of it up with what you’ve been asking for.
Do this declutter for your physical life: clear up your wallet, your money management area and do this for your money mindset: your emotions around money, your beliefs, your experiences.
(This stuff works, I swear).
10. What you focus on expands.
i.e. Focusing on the money that comes in expands what comes in. Start writing down everything you receive. I bet you are already SO abundant, and you have no clue. Start writing it down, and you’ll be even more abundant.
Think of it this way – The Universe is constantly giving you gifts. It’s excited about giving them to you. It’s happy about it’s gifts to you.
In the meantime, you’re completely blind to these gifts coming in. You’re constantly saying: “there’s not enough. I need more. Why won’t you give me anything, Universe!”
How do you think the Universe feels? Does it want to keep giving you all these gifts?
11. Like attracts Like.
i.e. Feel abundant, be abundant.
There is SO much more to be said on the subject. And that’s good, because I’m working on saying it!
Money Manifestation Month is coming up. You can read about it here and stay tuned by signing up for my bi-weekly soul-notes here!
My guides during this money healing year have been amazing.
Check out their stuff here.
Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks and Live a First Class Life by Denise Duffield-Thomas.
MONEY Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom
by Tony Robbins.